Adapted from an online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn: I have a daughter, 13, who doesn’t want to do any extracurriculars or camp during the summer. Instead, she wants to lie in bed all day watching YouTube cartoons. She is social with friends from time to time and seems to enjoy it. Any activity — like art class — invites “I hate it” and lots of pushback. Is this anxiety? Should I just let her be home and do nothing??

— Parent

Parent: I am 100 percent in favor of “just let her be home and do nothing,” with one catch: that it’s 1970s nothing, not present-day nothing. In other words, no all-day screens unless it’s a 12-inch black-and-white TV with rabbit ears.

Seventies nothing was boredom, which kids had to learn to alleviate by reading, exploring, interacting, developing hobbies, or draping themselves and their thoughts over plaid furniture and sighing. Present-day nothing is addictive entertainment.

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Your daughter could be a normal teen pushing back on parents, or in serious emotional trouble, on the same information.

Your (really hard) job is to read her pushback for signs of either normalcy or emergency. Normalcy means, “Okay, no art class, but no YouTube all day, either. What’ll it be?” She can go to camp or class, or work odd jobs around the house, or start a hobby, or babysit, or drape. (With a YouTube allowance, if you want.)

Emergency means intervention, based on other symptoms. Watch for over- or under-sleeping, over- or under-eating, extreme moods, zero interests, no friends or troubling ones. Start with your pediatrician for help.

Find ways to be together and outside, too. If it’s fun, it’ll work, like “On Golden Pond” (1981).

Carolyn: I hated it when my parents pushed extracurriculars. I was a talentless kid, and doing that stuff merely reminded me of it. We don’t want to admit it, but a talent or skill dictates a child’s value. Maybe your daughter doesn’t want another reminder that she doesn’t have value in the public eye. And please spare us the “hidden talent” crap. There’s no Olympic medal for hidden talents.

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— Anonymous

Anonymous: A jeremiad for our child-rearing times.

Other readers’ thoughts:

· Strongly recommend a daily limit of screen time. It’s well-documented that being on screens all day is bad news, and not only for kids. It’s the epidemic of our times.

· Your answer made me laugh. When I was that age and didn’t want to do anything, I ended up watching the Senate Watergate hearings on the TV with the rabbit ears. I became enthralled with the whole story, like a real-life soap opera. That turned me into a political junkie and activist.

· My daughter is similar at 14. I decided this is one of the last years she’ll have a truly unscheduled summer, and I will let her enjoy it. Soon she will have school and job pressure. The rat race will always be there. Eight weeks of nothing is a once-in-a-lifetime gift.

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· We had a roof antenna, but that still meant the three networks and one PBS station. I remember reading a lot. And my mother telling me to get outside and play. But I also went to camp, family trips, ice skating and swim lessons.

· This spring, I had to take leave from work for burnout. What I actually needed was permission to REST rather than running myself ragged to accomplish things. There is no shame in just being rather than doing all the time. (Agree about limiting screen time, though.)

· Some of us just don’t like to “do stuff” very often, especially when we are supposed to be on a break.

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