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Forget toasting the bride and groom — one big brother is going viral for roasting his sister at her wedding.
Posted by TikTok user @isaac9ice — whose account is dedicated to funny and sentimental wedding clips — the five-minute video of Sean, the brother, starts off with him admitting that he didn’t want a younger sister, the bride Lindsey, in his youth.
“We first met in the early ’90s. I can’t say I was overly interested in meeting her, but my parents felt I wasn’t enough,” he joked as guests erupted in laughter.
“When she was born, she was a big girl. Some would say ‘hefty,'” Sean continued. “Nine pounds and 10 ounces. They wheeled her out into the hallway, and my first word to her was ‘gross.’
“We locked eyes and there it started: a sibling rivalry,” he dramatically declared.
He continued to praise the bride for “growing wise” as she got older — due to the fact that she followed her brother around and “studied” him.
Still, Sean claims his sister learned how to play their parents and grandparents into always taking her side in arguments between the siblings.
“My grandparents developed a points system where we would score points for doing good deeds and being good to one another, but this system failed,” he recalled as an older man and woman, seemingly said grandparents, chuckled.
“When a fight was brought to the attention of any superior, I had no chance. It literally took video footage for my family to take my side after a fight had broken out.”
He recalled spending summers with their grandparents where he and his sister would sit in front of a video camera and talk about their day.
“Halfway through the second season, episode seven, she went down,” he remembered. “She hit me, she pushed me, she spit on me … and I pushed her away. Immediately, she ran to my grandparents. ‘Sean hit me. Sean is bad.’
“I got in trouble, and once again I was told, ‘Sean, negative points.’ So here I am, Granny, Lindsey is sitting at 160 points, and here I am at -5.”
But then Sean remembered that the whole incident was on camera so he sat his grandparents down to prove his innocence.
“My whole life I’ve been trying to feel as good as I did in that moment,” Sean claimed. “My grandparents literally turned their heads toward her. She had been exposed.”
Around the 3:30 mark, Sean got serious, calling Lindsey ” authentic” and “an amazing person to grow up with.”
“She kept me in line. She’ll keep Adam in line, and I really don’t know what I would do without my shadow,” he said to a room full of “awws.”
“She’s organized and on the ball, and there are people like me who procrastinate and leave everything until the last minute, like this speech,” he joked again.
Sean then turned his attention to the groom, Adam.
“Adam, I liked you from the start. Maybe because you would laugh at my jokes while my sister would just sit there shaking her head, or because you’re into sports and a good athlete yourself,” he praised his new brother-in-law.
“But I’ll have you know I’ve never seen my sister so confident, relaxed, and happy, and to our family that says a lot. You’re always willing to give a helping hand and half a beer, and at the end of the day, that’s enough for me,” he added.
More than 700 people laughed along and applauded Sean in the comment section.
“Spoken like a true big brother!” one wrote.
“He has great comedic timing and delivery,” another praised.
One said: “The older brother I always wanted. love alll of this. please tell their parents they did amazing.”
“The reactions of what I presume are the grandparents makes this gold,” someone else added.
“Now i wanna know what she will say on his wedding,” another laughed.
“teary-eyed I don’t know why,” another admitted.
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